In the world today everything has a filter from our opinions to our pictures. Having a filter is a struggle for me, when I was a little girl I filtered a lot and never really learned what I liked or disliked. As I got older I became more vocal but, I still didn’t want to rock the boat. My goal was to fit in and have friends. In my mind that meant not having a true opinion and definitely not say it out loud. It’s very confusing feeling one way.. but saying something else. Plus I probably missed out on some amazing things and experiences.
Turning 30 changed all that and I took my filter off. Of course I filtered some thoughts and feelings, I’m not a complete idiot! Some times I do or say stupid things. That is human nature right? I’m sure you have done or said something stupid too. That’s what makes us human. Once I took my filter off of my emotions and thoughts I really started to learn about myself. It’s shitty it so long but better late than never. Being a late bloomer in being me, I decided that my kids would not be coming late to the “unfiltered self” party. I was going to start them young at being unfiltered and authentic.
Our kids can be individuals not asses
Raising kids is a pain in the ass to begin with, raising kids in today’s society is like being on American Ninja Warrior. You may think you know what to expect on the course but new things get thrown in all the time. When you’re raising your kids to speak what they think but want them as good future citizens is like climbing a big moving wall from hell. There is a balancing act of letting them be true to themselves while keeping them respectful and unfiltered. I’m sure most of you have been somewhere and your little one has said something so unfiltered and true and you wanted to crawl in a hole. Right? We’ve all been there so it’s cool. Giving my kids a voice doesn’t mean they are always right or that they aren’t checked occasionally. Trust me they do!
Our kids should discover themselves and what they want to become in the future. That’s a parents wish, we want them happy, successful and whole as a person. Sometimes doing that can make them asses though . It gives them a sense of entitlement, if that’s the right word? Either way you get the point. We have all been to a store or restaurant and watched in horror as a kid runs the show with his or her parents withering in a corner. What do you say to yourself when you see this? I am thinking reign that little hell beast in and get back some respect. Because that behavior probably follows him everywhere they go. Plus this child will someday be an adult, can you imagine a world full of adults like him ?I’m pretty sure that would be a nightmare.
How do we make sure our kids aren’t Hell Beasts
I can’t give you a magic answer. If I could I would be a millionaire. What I can tell you, teaching your kids respect , manners and giving guidelines helps. They can still be unfiltered and true to themselves while being respectful. Kids should be kids not mini adults. Maybe that is the actual problem, there are a lot of parents who treat their children as adults which means giving them adult choices. Kids aren’t capable of making adult decisions ,sometimes I have problems making adult decisions. Treating kids like mini adults gives them power, a kid with power is usually a brat. Sorry if that’s blunt but it’s the truth, I don’t want a bunch of brats running around the world. Treat our kids like kids. We need to give our kids room so they can be themselves and discover what makes them-them. But we still have to set boundaries and give them guidance when it comes to right and wrong. My kids are taught please and thank you from birth. We also have taught them to respect their elders and to do what’s expected of them.
Here is what’s expected of our kids;
- say please and thank you
- school is your job
- treat people the way you’d want to be treated
- follow the rules where ever you are
- not everything belongs to you, respect that
- respect’s earned not given
- we are the parents you are the kid
- be truthful to your self and others
This is what we have instilled in them. Hopefully this will help them live a good life and be able to live unfiltered.
If we give them expectations and guidelines to live by maybe they shouldn’t be tools as kids or adults. We can let them be who they want without ruining the family dynamic and our future.
Let me know if you agree or disagree, I love hearing what goes on in other people’s minds.
This my unfiltered mom opinion … Have a great day !