How do I survive with a Teen, Pre-Teen and a Tween? -Unfiltered-Mom Monday

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Teenagers will give us all grey hair!

I’m a mom of a teen, pre-teen and I think a tween – this last one is sketchy depending on definitions. I have a few grey hairs but not as many as I should by now. The hormones in the air at our house reek of funk and Exorcist type mood swings. Throw into the mix myself who is pre-menopausal and you have the perfect storm. My poor husband doesn’t know what the hell is going on half the time. In our house a look, comment, smile or smirk can shake our house right off its axis. Since my hormones are a little wacky sometimes I understand my hormone laden kids moods. Troy not so much, he’s more… add fuel to the fire type.

It’s exhausting trying to keep up with their moods plus what to say and what not to say. As their mom I want to help them through this. But as a previous teen and now pre-menopausal woman  I know they need to go through the motions. I will be there for the 3 of them and love them but I also know they need to feel what they are going through. At least I hope I’m right.

A Book Won’t Make You A Mom

Being a mom is an as you go kind of learning. There isn’t a book out there that will tell you how you should be a mom, even the ones that claim they can – can’t!  As moms we wing it or go with our gut. Maybe that’s why we question ourselves so much? When we leave the hospital with our new babies an instructional manual doesn’t come along. Trust me I looked. At the well baby and child check ups we get nothing to explain it to us either. Everything we do is inside of us. There are times I totally drop the ball on being a mom and there are times I’m Rock Star! I’m trying to focus on those Rock star moments instead of the others.

Having these teen, pre-teen and tweens in the house is scary. This is the time where our presence may be needed the most in their lives. Do you remember when you were these ages ? This is when you started to pick the path that you were going to follow. When I say path I’m talking about friends and behaviors. If I’m not present in their lives will they choose a path of not caring about anything and get in trouble? – If I’m too present will they not find their independence and drive and still get in trouble ? I have to find the happy medium and hope it helps them be who we’re raising them to become. Which is; nice, thoughtful , caring, independent and intelligent adults. I’ll let you know how that turns out because even the best parents raise assholes. Everyone wants their kids to have friends, do well in school and abide by the law…right? Well, there will be a few of us that won’t have the picture perfect kid. That’s life !
Am I right?


Hopefully my kids will learn from my mistakes

It scares the shit out of me that my kids could or may do some of the stuff I did from 13-30 years old. Hopefully they listened to my stories and learned from my mistakes . I have been very honest about my teenage years and the things I did and didn’t do. My kids look at me now and can’t believe I was the wild child I claim to have been . Some parents don’t talk to their kids about their own teenage experiences or they change their past to look better. I won’t do that, I am who I am or was. Sharing our own misguided youth can actually be a tool in raising our kids instead of it being shameful and a secret. Secrets always come out and I would rather have my kids here it from me.

Obviously, whether or not we share our teenage adventures with our kids they still have to make the choices themselves. Good or bad it’s part of growing up and finding their way. All we can do is let them know ahead of time, that we are here, we love them and shit happens just be honest with us.

We Will Survive This

All in all we will get through this stage in our teen, pre-teen and tweens life, hopefully. There will be funky smells, growth spurts, outbursts, silent treatments, half-truths, un-truths, tears, doors slammed and possibly a broken heart or 2. Just so we’re clear I was talking about the kids. Most of those apply to us, including the growth spurt (waistline). The way I plan on getting through this is by sharing with all of you and remembering what I felt like at their age. Hopefully we can all get through the teens and my pre-menopause if we stick to together and talk about it Unfiltered.

Truthfully and Unfiltered,  Me

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